Are you flirting with me or am I overanalyzing all of our interactions: a novel written by me
A handy guide
I’m not like most girls *long pause as I sip chocolate milk through my very complex straw* I’m worse
- my wife: i'm leaving you
- me: why?
- my wife: you feel the need to use the alignment chart in every aspect of life and i can't take it anymore
- me, quietly: lawful evil behavior
Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*
if a girl sends u saucy pics u gotta lose ur shit and act like u never seen a titty before its jus etiquette
i was driving and was in the left lane waiting for the light to turn green and i’m not exaggerating when i say the person behind me honked the second the light turned green…and i’m like….im not in the mood…….so i put my brake on and let them honk and honk until the light turned red again. it took like 5min for it to turn green and the person honked for 2min of it then stopped. when it turned green again they were silent and i was like :) that’s what i thought. time isn’t real and i have no problem wasting someone else’s
a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool